Some things remain sacred, like certain sock drawers, the TV remote, and a jealously guarded coffee mug. So, before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, the following list does not mention E.T. the Extraterrestrial, Back to the Future, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, or The Princess Bride. It does make mention of other remakes of 1980s movielos that offer rich potential for a remake without, if possible, raining on anyone’s nostalgia parade.
The criterion for including possible remakes of 1980s movies runs a broad spectrum. Still, it essentially boils down to this: Having had to suffer the Total Recall, RoboCop, Poltergeist, Arthur, and Karate Kid remakes, why the heck not?
1. Howard the Duck
A notorious flop at the time, Howard has not improved with the passing years (don’t fall for that “cult classic” guff). A birdbrained comedy beset with ropey animatronics, a dud script, and a tone as even as a plowed field, it wasted top-tier source material – Marvel’s wisecracking avian alien – with abandon. But in the right hands (Edgar Wright or James Gunn), this turkey would fly.
2. Highlander (1986)
Forget the sequels and the TV series (all 374 of them), Highlander deserves a full-on, no-holds-barred mega-budget big-screen remake, ideally with Henry Cavill as immortal swordsman Connor MacLeod and Antonio Banderas as his mentor Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez, roles originally played by Christopher Lambert and the late, great Sean Connery. Get it together, Hollywood; the “quickening,” the better! (See what we did there?)
3. Q – The Winged Serpent (1982)
An update of writer-director Larry Cohen’s noirish fantasy-horror, in which a giant Aztec deity runs amok in modern-day New York, couldn’t be more up Guillermo del Toro’s alley if it lived in his recycling bin.
4. Romancing the Stone (1984)
Perfect fodder for possible remakes of 1980s movies, this old-school action-adventure yarn (think Jungle Cruise with a plot), originally starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas, has Chris Pratt and Charlize Theron written all over it.
5. The Last Starfighter (1984)
Time has treated The Last Starfighter well in some respects – plot-wise, it holds up superbly: a trailer park teen gets recruited by an intergalactic defense force after scoring maximum points on his favorite arcade game – but in others, not so much.
The character development needs work, and the proto-CG FX looks badly dated, as does the uber-eighties production design (lots of beige, lots of clunky computer banks). But a decent writer and some big computers can easily fix all that. Add in the relentless popularity of space opera, and a remake makes perfect sense, perhaps with Patty Jenkins or Lexi Alexander in the hot seat.
6. Short Circuit (1986)
The story of a military robot rejecting its intended purpose after gaining self-awareness, John Badham’s heartwarming sci-fi comedy transfers perfectly to the A.I. era.
7. They Live (1988)
One big problem faces any potential remake of They Live: finding a leading man with the right charisma, physicality, and everyman appeal to replace Rowdy Roddy Piper.
On second thoughts, depending on John Cena, Dave Bautista, or Jason Momoa’s availability (sorry, Dwayne, too on-the-nose), make that “big opportunity.”
8. Trading Places (1983)
Can’t see it? Okay, think Tiffany Haddish as Milly Ray Valentine and Emily Blunt as Louise Winthorpe III. How about now?
9. The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
Despite the stellar ensemble cast – Susan Sarandon, Cher, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Jack Nicholson – the original didn’t quite get to grips with John Updike’s wicked source novel, a cauldron of unfettered desire, female empowerment, friendship, toxic masculinity, and the supernatural.
But with four juicy roles on offer, three of them for women (paging Ms. Newton, Ms. Byrne, and Ms. -Lo) and themes every bit as pressing now as 40 years ago, a remake could spell big time success.
10. The Lost Boys (1987)
High time for a revamp. As it were.
11. Working Girl (1988)
Who wouldn't want to see Emma Stone, Zoey Deutch or Rachel McAdams step into Melanie Griffith’s sneakers/stilettos as Tess McGill, a blue-collar gal from Staten Island determined to make it in the cut-throat corporate world? Snag Chris Evans and Cate Blanchett for the Harrison Ford and Sigourney Weaver roles, for a gilt-edged winner.
12. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)
A cult classic to some, a bit of a bewildering mess to others, either way writer Earl Mac Rauch’s delirious sci-fi action-comedy seems long overdue for a state-of-the-art retread.
13. Clue (1985)
One title often mentioned among possible remakes of 1980s movies: this cult farce.
In the admittedly limited movies-inspired-by-boardgames genre, Clue more than holds its own. But with a trio of possible endings and an over-reliance on slapstick, it struggled to find an audience, despite sterling work from cast members Tim Curry, Michael McKean, Christopher Lloyd, Lesley Ann Warren, and comic genius Madeleine Kahn.
Remakes get dicey, but a Clue reboot promises more than a token gesture. Imagine a Haunted Mansion/Knives Out mashup starring Tom Hiddleston, Paul Rudd, Margot Robbie, Kate McKinnon, and John Hamm. Either that or Hungry, Hungry Hippos: The Movie.
14. The Osterman Weekend (1983)
Given director Sam Peckinpah’s state of self-inflicted dissipation in 1983, it’s a wonder his final film makes any sense at all. And it doesn’t make much. But with another maverick visionary at the helm – David Fincher or Kathryn Bigelow, maybe Denis Villeneuve – Sam’s political thriller might finally achieve its full paranoid potential.
15. WarGames (1983)
A computer whiz-kid accidentally hacks into the Pentagon mainframe, mistakenly believing he’s playing a video game. Could a more “now” premise exist?
16. The Verdict (1982)
Paul Newman’s powerhouse performance as washed-up lawyer Frank Galvin casts a long shadow, but the time seems right time for a serious courtroom drama, and they don’t get much more serious than The Verdict. And as long as no one messes with the uncompromising ending (no spoilers here!), Bradley Cooper would give his Hangover residuals for a crack at this one.
17. Pennies From Heaven (1981)
Adapted from writer Dennis Potter’s groundbreaking BBC TV show, in which characters regularly broke the fourth wall with lip-synched Cole Porter numbers, this dark Depression-set musical starring Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters hit a sour note with audiences. In the wake of other Potter masterpieces, including The Singing Detective, modern moviegoers are more receptive – maybe even receptive enough for a sinister reteaming of La La Land alumni Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling.
18. Private Benjamin (1980)
Hapless Army recruit Judy Benjamin provided Goldie Hawn with a signature role back in the day, and there’s plenty of mileage in the G.I. Jane-with-laughs premise yet. Take a number Kristen Wiig, Tiffany Haddish, Amy Schumer, Kate McKinnon, Awkwafina, and Constance Wu.
19. The Money Pit (1986)
Itself a loose remake of the 1948 Cary Grant/Myrna Loy classic Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House, this hilarious contemporary screwball, starring Tom Hanks and Shelley Long, looks ripe for a remodel. And given the current obsession with smug millennials buying, selling and doing up houses, a young couple renovating a run-down mansion hits the zeitgeisty high-concept nail on the head. Jason Bateman and Rashida Jones, you home?
20. Alien Nation (1988)
Extraterrestrial refugees strive to integrate into human society in this smart, alt-world thriller from director Graham Baker and writers Rockne S. O'Bannon and an uncredited James Cameron. Starring James Caan as a bigoted LAPD cop and Mandy Patinkin as his “Newcomer” partner, Alien Nation didn’t exactly set box-office tills ringing (it did, however, spawn a cult TV series). But for shrewd social commentary and allegorical clout, it’s hard to think of an 80s movie more relevant to today or more worthy of an update.
